Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

I'll start off by saying this is a book review.  The only reason I read the book was because I watched the movie and loved it.  So, I recommend both to all the ladies.  Boys, unless you want to answer some unwanted questions, leave them for the girls.

First off, the book is great for reminding us ladies how simple men are.  To steal words from Mr. Steve Harvey, men are driven by three things: his title, how he gets that title, and the reward he gets for the effort.  Until a man has solid answers to these three things, he's basically still a boy.  So, all you college girls (me included) out there looking for your man, know that mentally, all those good looking college males surrounding you are still boys.  Once he becomes a man and has those three things taken care of, he will not be ready to settle down and truly focus on a woman.*

*side note here, I understand that some relationships start during college, and even fewer start in high school.   In these cases, the men were extremely lucky to have found a woman with enough patience to sit and wait for him to accomplish these things prior to devoting his efforts toward her.

Once a man achieves a title, is good at what it takes to maintain that title, and is rewarded for those efforts; he is ready to focus his attentions elsewhere.  I would classify everything prior as sport-now I'm talking about dating.

So, ladies, quit looking for your soulmate at any age that precedes this accomplishment.  It's going to be different for every situation and background, but personally, I doubt I meet a real man under the age of 26.  And that's pretty young these days for having accomplished all of that.

Once you meet a real man he will behave in certain ways that will prove how much he is willing to make you his lady.  But, I will save those for another post. ;) 

Southern Gentlemen Exist!

I realize I've taken quite a break from writing, and my apologies for that.  But, during my break I finished my undergraduate career, chilled at home for a summer, hung out with athletes, and moved down south to begin graduate school.  Throughout all of this craziness, I have been observing all kinds of silly dating behavior that I am finally ready to discuss.  First off: the rumors are true, men down south are true gentlemen!

Northern ladies, I'm telling you, take a trip down south.  It'll take all of about 3 seconds for you to see the light.  Men down here open doors for you, always let you go in first, pay for drinks, carry heavy things, and anything else manly you have heard about in novels but have never really seen happen.  It is so refreshing to know that chivalrous gentlemen still exist.  Honestly, for the first three weeks or so, I thought I was living in a dream world and people were just trying to be extra nice to the new girl; nope, they are legitimately nice!  So, having this experience, I have officially raised the bar on what I expect from a man.  I'm over all the nonsense that I encountered during my undergraduate career in Indiana.  No more splitting the check, meeting at the restaurant, or texting him first.  I'm hanging out with some homegrown, respectful men down here.  So, to all my northern (yankee) girls out there, don't settle for less.  Men want to be men.  They want to ask you out, pay for dinner, and walk you to your door.  If you have trouble finding that at home, come visit me for a few days. I promise I'll have these Georgia boys competing over who gets to buy your next drink.

My Friends Are Getting Married!! (Already!)

It's official, I have received the first of many wedding invitations featuring one of my good friends as the beautiful bride.  I went home a few weekends ago to find some blissful pictures telling me to save the date.  And I am!  I love a good excuse to get dressed up, eat some food, drink some wine, and dance the night away.  Even though I couldn't be happier for the engaged couple, there are a few thoughts lingering in my mind....

I am about to embark on the epic journey of toasting the newlyweds while avoiding the awkward advances of creepy cousins who have had a few too many wine spritzers.  I'll give you a little insight to my game plan.

1. Have a great time wishing the couple well!  I will not forget the reason for each shindig.  The whole point of everyone getting all dolled up in their Sunday best is to show their support for the two people standing at the alter.  And I will be one of those supporters!

2. As Patty, the Millionare Matchmaker, would say: a 2 drink maximum.  Mixing alcohol with hanging out with the friends I frequently pulled schnanigans with on a regular basis sounds like a great way to get myself into trouble, namely with the older wedding attendees.  The last thing I want to do is make grandma and grandpa pay attention to me instead of their beautiful bride dancing the Cha Cha slide.

3. Just like during the holidays, I will focus answers on the state of my career/schooling/latest project instead of who I'm marrying.  I have no idea who that will be, so why talk about it?

4. Pick out fabulous housewarming gifts.  Um hello, this is the perfect chance to decide what I want in my future home!  I could totally spend some time browsing for wedding gifts and making mental notes on the sweet wine rack at Crate and Barrel.

5. Proudly strut onto the dance floor to catch the single ladies bouquet.  I am happily single, so no boy is out there buying me flowers.  A bride's bouquet would look so pretty on my end table!  And, honestly, who can resist the moment of pure competition while trying to snag those lilies?

Valentine's Day

Well Christmas sure came and went in the blink of an eye!  Here we are in February already and Valentine's Day is in 3 days.  The funny thing is that I know very few people who actually look forward to this day set aside for love.


This is the typical prototype of those people: she is between the ages of 6-13 and is really excited to exchange valentines that say things like "be my special pal" and "you're the sweetest of the bunch" with the whole class because obviously her crush put a lot of time and effort into picking out her card (with cheap sucker attached) which says "Be my Valentine".  She will obsess over it for weeks because that's the same thing as saying "I love you" right?

Ladies, I hate to break your hearts right before some boy does on February 14th, but Valentine's Day is probably the silliest holiday out there.  If people care about you, they shouldn't need one day each year to remind them to buy you flowers/chocolates/dinner.  A man who wants to be with you will do that kind of stuff (or at least the dinner part) more than once a year.  I would hope he would try to remember your birthday, or possibly even Christmas (that one may be pretty tough to remember).  So why do we have to get all worked up in the middle of February for nothing?

I say we switch Valentine's Day into a girls-only holiday.  Go out with your friends.  Go drink wine or appletinis, eat chocolate, watch Channing Tatum in The Vow, just spend time with your friends!  They are the ones who should always be by your side anyway.  This way guys can stop stressing and girls can stop getting disappointed because their boyfriends aren't Ryan Gosling from The Notebook.

I realize this is a lofty goal, but my plans usually focus on work (it is just another work day) and hanging out with my friends.  I never go to bed sad on Valentine's night because my boyfriend bought me a keychain instead of earrings.  I sleep soundly just like I would any other night because I had a fun time kicking it with the girls and eating other people's candy.  On that note I wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day!

Christmas without someone you love

Santa is coming to town in two days!!  I think everyone is super excited; I know I am.  Well, almost everyone.  In all the excitement we tend to look past those who may be hurting because it'll bring us down.  Many people actually dread the holidays because they may be spending them without someone whom they love dearly.  Can you imagine trying to celebrate Christmas without your husband or wife or parents even?  The whole reason I love Christmas is because I get to spend time with my loved ones.  So, my heart really goes out to those who may not have that luxury.  That's who I am writing this post for.  And I'll be honest, these are not original thoughts from Nyssa.  I am borrowing the wisdom of one of the pastors at my church from this past Sunday.

His message was about guarding your heart against unexpected disappointment.  But the part that really struck me was the advice he gave to those who have fallen victim to tragedies or circumstances that harden our hearts.  He offered some tips:

1. Accept the hand you've been dealt.  Don't ignore it or pretend it never happened.  Sooner or later you will have to deal with the reality.

2. Expect less of other people and more of yourself.  The world cannot tiptoe around everyone's feelings.  They have to continue living their lives, as do you.  Believe that you can deal with the hurt and pain and be happy again.

3. Don't hurt others just because you are hurting.  Would seeing someone else suffer from hurtful words or actions really make anyone feel better?

4. Seek wise counsel and listen.  Accept the help of others.  Quite often your close friends and family will be waiting for you to ask for help.  They don't want to offend you by pushing you to get over it, but they are there for when you are ready.

5. There is always something to be thankful for.  I promise if you try hard enough, you can think of something to be thankful for.  I may not be proud of everything I've done and been through, but I am thankful for the opportunities I've had to learn.  No situation is hopeless.  None.

6. Live expectantly, not with expectations, but expectantly.  This means appreciate every moment, look for the good of each situation, and do your best to continue growing.

I hope these little bits of wisdom help those of you spending Christmas without a loved one.  And let me close with something totally cheesy but true: each day is a gift, that's why it is called the present.

Merry Christmas!!

Awkwardly single for the holidays

"It's the most wonderful time of the year
There'll be much mistletoeing
and hearts will be glowing
when loved ones are near.
It's the most wonderful time of the year!"



It's here, it's here, Christmas time is here!  I love the holiday season.  I love seeing smiling faces and reconnecting with close friends after being so busy all year long.  Christmastime brings a wonderful busyness of holiday parties, shopping for loved ones, and spending time with family.  To me, this is the time of year when my heart is just full of love for everyone.


Not everyone feels this way during the holidays.  Oftentimes it is difficult for most single people to feel this way.  We are bombarded with advertising that stars picture perfect couples celebrating the holidays together and buying each other ridiculously expense jewelry they don't need.  Aside from that, we have grandma asking us, "why don't you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?"  Then, there's the side glances from relatives who are concerned because you're another year older and no closer to marrying someone.  On that note, let's take another gulp of this eggnog....


To counteract this awkwardness, I've come up with some ideas for answering those awkward questions (so where's your significant other, who you are you dating these days, etc.)


I love to respond with a question in turn: What's the rush?  That can catch them off guard.  They'll probably respond with something like, "we just want you to be happy, blah blah blah."  If they are really concerned with your happiness give them an update.  Personally I am thoroughly happy with where I am in my life, so I don't hide it.  I share my excitement for my latest project/adventure and steer the conversation in a different direction.


This leads to my next idea: take control of the conversation immediately by saying something like, "no news in that area, but I'm getting ready to graduate college!"  It's highly likely they'll begin asking questions about whatever exciting thing it is and forget that you're supposed to be sad and single (which is a ridiculous stereotype!)


My last piece of advice is to be honest.  If you are single, don't make up a fake girlfriend or boyfriend.  Don't say you are not interested in dating if you are.  They may know someone you can get coffee with.  By the way, you should strongly consider saying yes to fix-ups; he or she may not be your type, but I bet they have some pretty awesome friends!






Hopefully this helps you have an even more wonderful holiday season!

Proper Workout Attire

Ladies, this post is mainly for you.  I have got to know what so many girls are thinking while they prepare to head to the gym.  Usually my goal is to be comfortable, cool, and ready to move.  After 4 years of working at the gym I've determined most of these other girls just want to attract attention from all the boys.  Here's a list of what I commonly see:
booty shorts
oversize shirts that constantly fall off the shoulders
yoga pants that are way too small
cutoff shirts that flap around and really don't count as a shirt at all
hoop earrings
hair down
bracelets and rings
and a lot of makeup

When did the gym become the place to pick up a boyfriend?  I'm so confused.  I thought it was where we went to get in shape, blow off some steam, and not care what people think.  How am I supposed to get a good workout in when the girl on the elliptical next to mine is suffocating me with her vanilla scented body spray?  Is is rude of me to ask the shorty shorts girl with all her goods hanging out to move so I can do my lunges?

I have a secret for all you ladies who get dolled up to workout: the only boys scoping out the gym for potential dates are the ones who like boys.  Straight men will check you out, yes, but they definitely aren't going to walk up and confess their love for you next to the stairmaster.  Try spending more time at the gym working it instead of getting ready to go.  I promise that guys appreciate a girl who isn't afraid to sweat and work hard much more than a dolled up princess prancing around the indoor track.  So ladies, do everyone a favor, show up to the gym ready to work, your body and everyone there will thank you.